Comments on: Who will kindly read and criticize some poetry for me? http://www.bluebonnetsbootsandbooks.com/sun-bonnets/who-will-kindly-read-and-criticize-some-poetry-for-me-3 Fri, 05 Feb 2010 12:53:59 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.2 hourly 1 By: I Am The Walrus http://www.bluebonnetsbootsandbooks.com/sun-bonnets/who-will-kindly-read-and-criticize-some-poetry-for-me-3/comment-page-1#comment-3287 I Am The Walrus Tue, 03 Nov 2009 22:23:59 +0000 http://www.bluebonnetsbootsandbooks.com/sun-bonnets/who-will-kindly-read-and-criticize-some-poetry-for-me-3#comment-3287 i would definitely listen to the other answers. i feel no need to restate everything they said. they gave good answers though. i loved Gravel, though. that was really nice. and your free verse poem was pretty good also. you're a good writer, and have potential :)<br><b>References : </b><br> i would definitely listen to the other answers. i feel no need to restate everything they said. they gave good answers though.

i loved Gravel, though. that was really nice. and your free verse poem was pretty good also.

you’re a good writer, and have potential :)
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]]> By: Summer http://www.bluebonnetsbootsandbooks.com/sun-bonnets/who-will-kindly-read-and-criticize-some-poetry-for-me-3/comment-page-1#comment-3286 Summer Tue, 03 Nov 2009 22:04:59 +0000 http://www.bluebonnetsbootsandbooks.com/sun-bonnets/who-will-kindly-read-and-criticize-some-poetry-for-me-3#comment-3286 Gravel is definitly my favorite, 10/10<br><b>References : </b><br> Gravel is definitly my favorite, 10/10
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]]> By: flower http://www.bluebonnetsbootsandbooks.com/sun-bonnets/who-will-kindly-read-and-criticize-some-poetry-for-me-3/comment-page-1#comment-3285 flower Tue, 03 Nov 2009 21:21:59 +0000 http://www.bluebonnetsbootsandbooks.com/sun-bonnets/who-will-kindly-read-and-criticize-some-poetry-for-me-3#comment-3285 "If I could be a sight to see" *Consider rewording this.. It doesn't make sense to me "lovers fall in love" *Instead of using 'lovers' and 'love' in the same line, replace one of the words with a synonym or alternative. In fact, you could omit the 'fall in love' part, because all lovers do fall in love "fashionable hats" *Don't use the word fashionable. Maybe try the word 'voguish' or 'glamourous' "Of the grand Carousel, As it spins round and round" *It is obvious that the carousel spins. So change the second line to something more poetic such as "As the horses dance round and round" "Like a child playing with a red balloon," *I honestly don't like this line. This is a good use of imagery, however, I don't think this particular line works in the poem "so pleasing to the noise" *Do you mean 'nose'? Overall, your poems are really good! You're a great writer!<br><b>References : </b><br>High school student "If I could be a sight to see" *Consider rewording this.. It doesn’t make sense to me

"lovers fall in love" *Instead of using ‘lovers’ and ‘love’ in the same line, replace one of the words with a synonym or alternative. In fact, you could omit the ‘fall in love’ part, because all lovers do fall in love

"fashionable hats" *Don’t use the word fashionable. Maybe try the word ‘voguish’ or ‘glamourous’

"Of the grand Carousel, As it spins round and round" *It is obvious that the carousel spins. So change the second line to something more poetic such as "As the horses dance round and round"

"Like a child playing with a red balloon," *I honestly don’t like this line. This is a good use of imagery, however, I don’t think this particular line works in the poem

"so pleasing to the noise" *Do you mean ‘nose’?

Overall, your poems are really good! You’re a great writer!
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High school student

]]> By: Aristotle http://www.bluebonnetsbootsandbooks.com/sun-bonnets/who-will-kindly-read-and-criticize-some-poetry-for-me-3/comment-page-1#comment-3284 Aristotle Tue, 03 Nov 2009 20:59:59 +0000 http://www.bluebonnetsbootsandbooks.com/sun-bonnets/who-will-kindly-read-and-criticize-some-poetry-for-me-3#comment-3284 Poem 1. verse 4 was excellent in and of itself, I didn't care for the rest. Don't stop creating.<br><b>References : </b><br> Poem 1. verse 4 was excellent in and of itself, I didn’t care for the rest. Don’t stop creating.
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